Fifty Shades of Nay

February 12, 2015

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Fifty Shades of Nay

Possibly the most anticipated movie this year, Fifty Shades of Grey premiered in Australian cinemas last night.

Swaths of punters, mostly middle aged women, flooded in to see the filmic adaptation of the novel by E.L. James.

TODAY host Lisa Wilkinson was one such person - not a fan of the book, perhaps the movie would tickle Lisa's fancy?

Turns out no, read Lisa's scathing review below:

My husband had a big smile on his face last night when he discovered I was heading off to see 50 shades of grey.

this was the book series after all that left women all over the world wanting more, if you know what I mean.

Sure, I was the only woman I know who hadn't read the books.  But hey 100 million copies sold must make a good movie, right? wrong! 50 Shades of Grey, is quite simply, the worst movie I've ever seen.

With a script that makes Mills & Boon read like bleedin' Dickens, and lines like, "I don't do romance", Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey, is the 30-something jerk of a billionaire who never seems to work. An emotionally crippled narcisst no-one could love.

Meanwhile Dakota Johnson is the one-dimensional,lip-biting (could someone get that girl a chapstick) pathetic Anastacia Steele, who for no discernible reason falls in love with the aformentioned jerk and, single-handedly sells women short.

Yes, 50 shades of Grey is more appalling than appealing.  It's domestic violence dressed up as erotica and if there's one thing this movie is not, its erotic.

One star out of five and that's only because of the excellent choc top I consoled myself with later.

Oh, and as to Pete no, he didn't get lucky.  Because after two hours of complete drivel I need more than a choc top to pop my corn.

Lisa out.

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